Foods That Fashion Has Totally Ruined

1. Chocolate

Chocolate

Has melted chocolate ever looked as unappetizing as when it’s coating a naked woman’s entire head?

2.

Or is it grosser to imagine eating a piece of Karl Lagerfeld’s chocolate sculpture of his guy Friday, male model Baptiste Giabiconi? I’m really torn on this one.

3. The Cheeseburger

The Cheeseburger

At least this is a clever way to shove eight beef patties into one burger.

4. Steak

Steak

As if the meat dress and matching shoes weren’t enough, Gaga had to go and wear this Tarzan costume made entirely of beef for the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan.

5. Ravioli

Ravioli

No matter how attractive any man is, he should NOT wear ravioli boxer briefs.

6. Meatballs

Meatballs

DIY any stiletto!!!

Except, don’t.

7. Pasta in Tomato Sauce

Pasta in Tomato Sauce

8. Or, Italian food, generally.

Or, Italian food, generally.

Fashion editors have a real thing for making food from this part of the world look disgusting.

9. Obscure Mushrooms

Obscure Mushrooms

Well, these probably wouldn’t look THAT delicious not in dress form, but looking at this does make me want to eat them a little bit less.

10. Popcorn

Popcorn

Why do I get the feeling that Chanel serves the driest, lowest sodium popcorn ever? The only bags they need to be making are quilted ones.

11. Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake

I hope she didn’t go commando.

12. Paté

Paté

Definitely not a “hair down” look.

13. Bread

Bread

Has anything gotten more… stale than wearable food?

14. Bread Pudding

Bread Pudding

Judging by the “price” on this magazine being “1 lb of cheese” we can safely assume it’s a photoshopped fake. But also an utterly genius commentary on the fashion world’s obsession with serving comfort food at parties (which, yes, is a real obsession — Anna Wintour loves to serve chicken pot pie and stuff like that to party guests).

15. Ice Cream

Ice Cream

Oh, the French.

And the British.

16. Baby Food

Baby Food

Let’s save this one for the youngsters with no teeth.

17. Lollipops

Lollipops

To be fair, these have never been that delicious anyway.

18. Fro Yo

Fro Yo

If you are next to Katy Perry right now MAKE HER COVER HER EYES AND KEEP SCROLLING!

19. Salad Greens

Salad Greens

Never needed to become thong underwear.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s