Foods That Fashion Has Totally Ruined

1. Chocolate


Has melted chocolate ever looked as unappetizing as when it’s coating a naked woman’s entire head?


Or is it grosser to imagine eating a piece of Karl Lagerfeld’s chocolate sculpture of his guy Friday, male model Baptiste Giabiconi? I’m really torn on this one.

3. The Cheeseburger

The Cheeseburger

At least this is a clever way to shove eight beef patties into one burger.

4. Steak


As if the meat dress and matching shoes weren’t enough, Gaga had to go and wear this Tarzan costume made entirely of beef for the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan.

5. Ravioli


No matter how attractive any man is, he should NOT wear ravioli boxer briefs.

6. Meatballs


DIY any stiletto!!!

Except, don’t.

7. Pasta in Tomato Sauce

Pasta in Tomato Sauce

8. Or, Italian food, generally.

Or, Italian food, generally.

Fashion editors have a real thing for making food from this part of the world look disgusting.

9. Obscure Mushrooms

Obscure Mushrooms

Well, these probably wouldn’t look THAT delicious not in dress form, but looking at this does make me want to eat them a little bit less.

10. Popcorn


Why do I get the feeling that Chanel serves the driest, lowest sodium popcorn ever? The only bags they need to be making are quilted ones.

11. Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake

I hope she didn’t go commando.

12. Paté


Definitely not a “hair down” look.

13. Bread


Has anything gotten more… stale than wearable food?

14. Bread Pudding

Bread Pudding

Judging by the “price” on this magazine being “1 lb of cheese” we can safely assume it’s a photoshopped fake. But also an utterly genius commentary on the fashion world’s obsession with serving comfort food at parties (which, yes, is a real obsession — Anna Wintour loves to serve chicken pot pie and stuff like that to party guests).

15. Ice Cream

Ice Cream

Oh, the French.

And the British.

16. Baby Food

Baby Food

Let’s save this one for the youngsters with no teeth.

17. Lollipops


To be fair, these have never been that delicious anyway.

18. Fro Yo

Fro Yo

If you are next to Katy Perry right now MAKE HER COVER HER EYES AND KEEP SCROLLING!

19. Salad Greens

Salad Greens

Never needed to become thong underwear.

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